Back to the Blog - Manifesting Pain

Hi folks!

     Well a break was demanded as other things stole my attention for a while. I had horrible back pain for just over a month, which left me feeling miserable and not very motivated to blog. After many chiropractic visits and the establishment of a very diligent stretching habit, I am feeling much better. The back pain didn't fully disappear however, until I quit the job I had been in for the past year.

     Yes! No more nine-to-five gig. I tried to make it work because it was nice to have a dependable salary, but who was I kidding? I'm an artist and the daily grind of an office job just isn't for me. I need more variety in my work and in my hours to be happy. I need art and activity and interactions to make up the bulk of my day. I do not thrive with so much structure, with knowing how each day will begin and end. I felt for a while, as though I was standing still. I felt like I could feel myself dying a slow, groaning, bone-creaking death. Dramatic, I know, but dear lord I was bored.

     You know, bodies are very clever. When I delay making a change that I know must be made for my betterment, then my body rebels and I get sick. I get sick in a way that renders me physically unable to continue with my present situation, and thus I am forced into change.

     This has happened a number of times, and the pain always manifests itself in an exact spot in my body that causes an absolute and immediate stop. The location of the pain is always directly related to the area of my life that needs focus, an obvious clue for when I am being bull-headed and blind. The pain does not go away until I shift my actions, as well as my thought processes that are connected to those actions.

     In other words, pain for me is often a signal that I am blocked in some way, and until I remove that block and change my path, the agony continues.

     In this case, I needed to leave my job and change my lifestyle because it was making me unhappy, but I kept trying to stick it out. Eventually I got debilitating back pain, and according to the professionals the only way to fix it was to be more active and not sit down so much. Voila. I had to say goodbye to the desk job, and I am relieved that I did.

     This is how I work. Now that I have grown to understand it, I am very thankful for my body's ability to make the right decision in those times when I am determined to rationalize myself into living with poor choices. In the majority of cases I make changes before I reach a point where I am in physical pain, but in the rare instances when pain is necessary, I am grateful for the illumination and action it commands.

I hope you are all well, and I look forward to posting here more regularly.

Until then,
x'ers and o'ers

Make changes or else!!!

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